making dinner for my kid, a rarity in the past few years…. taking a break from my almost constant obsession with kd’s om namah shivaya and letting neil young’s helpless bring all the feels.
it’s making me think about my life 10+ years ago. when i was with her dad i was lucky enough to be able to stay home with her while she was young… and long enough to find out it wasn’t the life for me.
motherhood comes in all shapes and sizes but what’s constant is the surrender and the sacrifice. that’s the beauty of loving someone more than yourself.
Dream comfort memory to spare
And in my mind I still need a place to go
All my changes were there
Blue, blue windows behind the stars
Yellow moon on the rise
Big birds flying across the sky
Throwing shadows on our eyes
Leave us
Helpless, helpless, helpless, helpless
helpless…that surrender that takes you over in the midst something you find so beautiful.
i thought that offering was something new to me… this new piece in my yoga practice, but it’s not.
motherhood has prepared me to be able to offer up everything i’ve worked so hard for. every day i’m dealing with new steps, new anxieties in birthing a new space for our community.
i guarantee you’ll be happier if you let your child be exactly who they are without expectation —for what they’ll be like, what choices they’ll make, what they’ll like or dislike, how similar or dissimilar they will be to you… letting go of expectation in this arena hasn’t been hard for me.
in ways, moving the studio is going better than i expected and in ways, it’s not going at all the way i expected. with these particular disappointments i think i’m finally starting to understand what it means outside of motherhood to let go of expectation. (sidenote: it’s all in the offering.)
i surprise myself, as i realize this is something i know how to do. i surprise myself in enjoying cooking tonight…
everything in it’s right time.
onlYoga is taking a vacation from october 31 to nov 7.
my daughter is 15, taking care of her is different now. and even though i cant do this every night, i think we have another night of my mediocre cooking coming up.
we’ll meet virtually through november starting on the 8th for class at 630p. hopefully we’ll have some pop up classes, park yoga, maybe our one day meditation retreat, and maybe even a yogi dinner meet up in there (don’t worry i won’t cook).
10/29/21
